This is 的 very last day of 全国收养月, 和 today 我是 addressing some of questions left for me from 我们的Facebook社区.
Q: What are 的 pros 和 cons of 公开采用?
As you know, we have four 公开采用s, but 的y aren't created (or maintained) equally. There are so many factors in determining if 公开采用 is right for you 和 your family. I encourage you to read about 的 following: 公开收养被打破, 公开采用令人生畏, 开放采用需要漏洞. So to answer your question, 的re isn't a hard-and-fast "pros 和 cons" list so much as 的re are complexities to consider. 我谈论了很多关于开放采用的话题 在我的新书中,以及。
Q: How do you talk to your kids about all 的 things going on in America today: 抗议,警察暴行,种族不公? 一切似乎如此庞大而复杂!
它又大又复杂! 我以适当的年龄(成熟)水平与加拿大pc交谈。 We own many, many books on some of 的 topics you mentioned above. 我坚信使用书籍开始和继续对话。 I'm also really honest 与 my kids about history 和 current events, though we carefully monitor 的 media our 儿童ren are exposed to. 我认为,对美国正在发生的事情的一个重要反应是,将其作为提醒自己建立儿童的起点。 Look for every opportunity to surround 的m 与 people who racially match 的m, to point out 的 incredible things Black people have done 和 are doing, to fill your home 与 representation (books, toys, music, art) from 的 儿童's earliest years, have a mentor for your 儿童, 和 affirm that your 儿童 is MAGICAL 和 incredible 和 yes, 的ir Blackness is a gift. I post resources ALL 的 time 在我的Facebook页面上!
Q: We already have biological 儿童ren (ages 3 和 5) 和 are 采用 ing. How do we prepare our 儿童ren for 的 采用 process 和 for 的 addition of a new 兄弟?
我奉献了 我第一本书中的整个章节, 因为 I think it's really important! I offer five simple suggestions on preparing your younger 儿童ren for a 兄弟 这里 .
As far as 的 actual 采用 process, I recommend taking it day-by-day. Outlining an entire process from start to finish for young 儿童ren is just too much! I mean, think how overwhelming it is for us as adults, let alone young 儿童ren. For example, say 的 social worker is going to do a home visit. 的 day 之前 , ask your kids to help you tidy up 的 house. Tell 的m that an important person who is going to help your family 采用 a baby is coming to visit tomorrow. Let 的m know 的 person's name 和 的 things that will go on during 的 visit. 请记住,不要过分。 记住我在新书中告诉你的内容? 45美元的苹果派有机大豆蜡烛不会给您的社工留下深刻的印象。保持简单,自己做。 And don't freak out if your kid has a tantrum or says something silly while 的 social worker is 的re. Anyone who has been around 儿童ren knows 的y aren't perfect. 的 y want YOU, 的 real you, 和 not perfection.
My other tidbit of advice: don't lose site of 的 relationship you have 与 your current 儿童ren. I know 采用 is big 和 overwhelming 和 sometimes all-consuming, but you need to remember that your job is to be a mom NOW, not save up all 的 "good stuff" for later.
Q: 我们想采用,但是我在大多数采用组中读到的所有内容对于采用都是压倒性的。 我们通过选择采用是否犯了大错误?
好吧,显然我不认为选择采用是错误或问题。 But what I do take issue 与 is UNETHICAL 采用 practices 和 UNEDUCATED hopeful parents. 这是一个致命的组合: lack of 伦理 +缺乏教育=收养困难。 谁最容易受到收养问题的影响? The 收养人. 我对道德和教育充满热情, that most of my new book is dedicated to discussing 的 details of 的se. 您如何追求合乎道德的收养? 道德采用的真正含义是什么? 您如何选择道德收养专家来指导您的旅程? 作为一名充满希望的父母,您如何接受教育? What are 的 best 采用 resources?
这是一个很大的话题,这就是为什么我不能在一个段落中解决这个问题。 But I urge you to commit to picking up 的 book 和 embarking on a journey that will completely change your world 和 make 的 采用 decision so much more clear.
谢谢你的 在Facebook上提交的问题! 今天就来聊聊您的最新问题。