2017年11月7日星期二

Dear Sugar: Honoring National Adoption Month 与 希瑟·阿维斯(Heather Avis)

亲爱的糖,

寄养。跨种族收养。特殊需求。 Open adoption.  

这些只是几件事 希瑟·阿维斯(Heather Avis) 在她的书中探索 幸运的少数。我不能把这本书放下来!我能形容的最好方法是? Refreshing. She doesn't hold back, sharing her 经验s 与 her readers in a humble, authentic tone that has you tearing up one minute and laughing out loud 的 next.  

为了纪念全国收养月,请允许我向您介绍希瑟和她美丽的家庭:

雷切尔: 别人需要了解您什么? 

希瑟: My family is made up of my husband Josh, my self and our three kids Macyn (9), Truly (6), and 八月 (3). Josh and I have been married for 15 years and we are still crazy about one another! We adopted all three of our 儿童ren and all of 的m were born in California, which is where we live. All three came home as babies and our son we got to bring home from 三天大的医院。我们的 eldest and youngest have Down 综合症 and our middle 女儿是不同的种族 比我们我们喜欢 adventure and spend time 与 our friends and family. We always have something going. Doing life well and fully 与 others is important 给我们。它确实需要一个村庄!

雷切尔: Your book title is 的 first thing that caught my eye and lured me into buying it!  So often those of us who adopt are told how lucky our kids are to have us as 的ir parents. 我们通常被视为救世主和超级英雄。  But truly, we, 的 parents, are 的 lucky ones. 所以告诉我,你为什么把书命名为“幸运儿”?  And what does "luck" have to do 与 adoption?  

希瑟: The lucky few is 的 idea 我们当中没有多少人有亲人 with Down 综合症 and not many of us answer 的 call to adopt, but those of us who do are few and very lucky! I think luck may have everything and nothing to do 与 采用。我认为以这种方式将一个家庭联系在一起确实有一定的运气。例如我长子的出生 父母出生在亚美尼亚, 早在她出生之前就来到加利福尼亚,而我的中女儿的出生母亲出生于 危地马拉,并前往 California long before my daughter was born and here 的y are as sisters. It's really kind magical. 

雷切尔:Like you, when we initially decided to adopt, we held onto misconceptions, stereotypes (about adoption), and self-preservation. 我们想要“快速而简单”。 但是收养不是“快速简便”,而是吗?  For my readers who are considering adoption, what do you want 的m to know that you wish you would have known when you started your journey? 

希瑟: I think this is almost a trick question ;). I've found 的 reality of life is we can't know what we don't know and we have to experience 实际的东西 know it. So while 我有很多事情 想要告诉人们正在考虑采用的事物,例如: sooo much more than you already are; and birth families are a gift if you can have one; and let go of every single expectation you have ever had about becoming a parent; and it's going to be so freaking difficult; and it's going to be so freaking worthy no matter how difficult; and don't give up no matter what, 的 reality people can hear it but can't fully know it if 的y don't experience it. 

雷切尔: You chose to adopt two 儿童ren 与 特殊需求.  I know that this scares a lot of people (and it scared you also initially, as you share in 的 book!).  One of my adoption mottos that I share 与 my readers is "make decisions out of education, not out of ignorance."  但是,无论您有多么充分的准备和受过良好的教育,特殊的需求还是一个未知数。  What gets you through 的 dark days, 的 confusion, 的 fear, 的 uncertainty?   And what is it REALLY like to parent 儿童ren 与 特殊需求?  

希瑟: 当我们决定是否要与唐氏领养我们的女儿时 我一直在思考综合症,“我可以 give birth to 确切地说她是谁。”事实是,我们几乎没有 控制我们的加拿大pc被收养与否。如果我怀有唐氏综合症的加拿大pc,我不会对她说不,那么为什么我要拒绝收养加拿大pc呢? 唐氏综合症?教育肯定是有帮助的,但没有很多 learning or 可以将妈妈的心嫁给加拿大pc的研究。最后,我的加拿大pc们 with Down 综合症是我的加拿大pc,这就是所有的事情。任何妈妈都可以告诉您,当您的加拿大pc是您的加拿大pc时,似乎没有其他问题。事实是,当我们把大女儿带回家时,我们意识到 综合症是一种礼物,那就是 最终导致我们采用 second child with Down 综合症. When I answer the 问题,“父母亲 child with special needs?" 的 people asking need to recognize I 没什么不同,所以对我来说,这很“正常”。还有一些附加功能,例如 weekly therapies for 发展和成长,还有那么多医生 appointments, most during 的 first couple years, but really, raising a 儿童 与唐 syndrome is like raising a 儿童. Parenthood is no joke, 特殊需求 or not! I also say 的 most difficult part of raising a 儿童 与唐 sender has little to do 与唐 综合症 and everything to do 与 to world in which we live. The majority of 适当的系统是为没有 special needs. The world has yet to figure out to to create a space for people 与唐 综合症 to be exactly who 的y are and to be 作为那个人成功。 目前我最难 aspect of raising a child 与 Ds is 的 school systems and every other system in place. My kids are gold, 的 systems not so much. 

雷切尔: 您和您的家人接下来要做什么? 你会再收养吗? 写另一本书? 

希瑟: 我们不打算再次采用。我们有能力并且完全满意。我们认为我们的家庭已经成长了。  话虽如此,当我们着手 parenthood  我们从没想过我们会采用, especially not children 与 DS. So we know God knows best and we are always ready to step where He calls us. Hopefully that won't be towards another kid! But if it is, we'll step up for sure. Also, if someone were to hand me a brand new baby most likely I'm taking that kid! And I am currently working on my 第二 book. Writing up a proposal and 希望它能被发布者获取。因此,我们将看到!!!

Want to connect 与 Heather?  Start 与 her 因斯塔gram的,梅西让我开心, 拥有超过110,000位关注者! 

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