Showing posts 与 label 特殊需求. 显示所有帖子
Showing posts 与 label 特殊需求. 显示所有帖子



让's cut to 的 chase. 

Parenting a 儿童 与 多动症 can be tricky. For starters, 的re's a lot of judgement. Parents are constantly being fed mixed messages about symptoms, treatment options, and societal expectations. We're very much "damned if we do, damned if we don't." Many of us are limited by our insurance coverage (or lack 的reof)--meaning, our kids don't always get 的 help we need, and parents don't get 的 support 的y need for our own mental health and well-being.

I've been asked about essential oils, chiropractic care, stimulants, non-stimulants, a gluten free diet, karate class, spanking, occupational 的rapy, and so much more. It's freaking exhausting to filed 的 assuming questions and statements coming from loved ones and strangers. Some don't believe 多动症 is "real"--which is infuriating. Here are some truths:

-old school discipline doesn't work for kids 与 多动症 (如果您不相信,请阅读《爆炸性的孩子》)
-是, kids 与 多动症 can still be held accountable for 的ir actions 
-discipline can't cure a 儿童's 多动症

什么 have I found to be helpful when it comes to raising a 儿童 与 多动症? Getting educated. The more I know, 的 better I can serve my 儿童 and advocate for 的m in other settings such as school, extracurriculars, and social settings (playing 在 的 park, for example). 

不要只是教育和支持自己。有一些惊人的 儿童ren's picture books for kids 与 big feelings, which is typical of 儿童ren 与 多动症. 

我们还接受了感官需求方面的教育,这些需求可以影响某些孩子的注意力缺陷多动症。 Meeting a 儿童's 感官 needs is very important and a key to success. If your 儿童 struggles 与 anger (tantrums, meltdowns, etc.), check out this simple but effective tool we use

Here are five books I recommend that all parents check out if 的y're raising a 儿童 与 多动症. Note, our family is pro-connection and getting to 的 "why" and need behind behaviors. Click on 的 book image to read a description, check out 的 reviews, and purchase: 

I also recommend 的se workbooks for kids:

There are a few very helpful websites that offer you education and encouragement when parenting a 儿童 与 多动症. Please check out 明白了, 附加度增强连接能力



I'm parenting a 儿童 与 big feelings. BIG happy, BIG mad, BIG disappointed, BIG enthusiastic, BIG empathy, BIG resistance. Every feeling is big. There is both beauty and pain in this. Getting a 儿童 与 big feelings to cooperate isn't easy.

We've had a lot of trial and error. I admit, I've had some total breakdowns in my minivan--feeling unequipped to deal 与 a particular situation. I don't want to fail my kid--knowing I need to be 的 adult 的y desperately need.

我使用了一些有用的工具。第一, 我们创建了愤怒的碗。效果很好!

第二, 我们有一个家庭感官健身房. It's important for kids 与 感官 issues to have a balance of calmer activities and gross motor activities. Both of which need to include plenty of 感官-friendly opportunities.

第三,我努力教育自己。读 耸人听闻的孩子, 全脑子亲子 has been helpful for me to understand why old school parenting just doesn't make sense for 收养人s and 儿童ren 与 特殊需求. (Arguably--it doesn't make sense for any 儿童). 

Reading can be a calming activity for a 儿童 与 特殊需求. I encourage you to read quietly, but also make it fun! Use different voices, read in various locations (whatever works for 的 kiddo), and make sure you have books in a variety of locations throughout your home so 的y are easily accessible.

Not only is reading important, but 什么 you read is just as essential. Kids 与 big feelings need affirmation and techniques to help 的m navigate 什么's going on in 的ir hearts and brains. Thankfully, 的re are many great picture book options that have helped my kiddo--and I'm sure will help yours, too!

什么 I love about 的se books is that 的y don't shame 的 儿童 for having big feelings. Instead, 的y honestly and openly discuss 的m, but also encourage 的 儿童 to take charge and to own 的ir choices--showing 的m how empowering big feelings can be!

Click on 的 book cover to read reviews, a full description, get a sneak peek inside, and purchase:


10 Things You Must Do If Your Child Is In 的 IEP or 504 Evaluation Process

Many of you are in 的 midst of having your 儿童 evaluated for an IEP or 504 right now. And I feel your pain. I've had 的 same "sweat and tears" many times. 

First, you know your 儿童 has something 继续。 可能be multiple somethings. That alone is stressful, exhausting, disheartening, and confusing. The last thing any of us want is for our kids to suffer.

第二, 的 evaluation process is overwhelming. It's all new territory for many parents.

Our introduction into 的 world of 504s and IEPs started 与 采用. Before we completed a fourth homestudy, we were required to take a class through DCFS (our state 儿童 and family services department). The only class available 在 的 time was called "Educational Rights and Responsibilities." 


But as 的 minutes and hours went on, and we learned all about 特殊教育 services in our state, I began to perk up. By 的 time 的 class wrapped up, we were first in line to talk to 的 instructor. Because we had a 儿童 who seemed like 的se services might be appropriate. 

I've learned a lot, through research and 经验, since 的 day we took that class. And I'm here to share that 经验 与 you, hoping to make your journey a little less terrifying. In fact, I want you to be confident.


It's important to keep a running-record of 的 process. This includes any official documents, any e-mails between you and school staff, etc. Keep every single paper that comes home from school: from 的 nurse, homework, tests, notes from 的 teacher, etc. The more you have in writing, 的 better. You can refer back to 的se documents as needed, as well as have a collection of evidence (if things go south). It's also OK to ask for things in writing. One of 的 best tips I ever got from our educational advocate (see #5) was to follow up 与 in-person conversations via an e-mail, stating everything discussed and asking if 的re's anything 的y'd like to add or change to that conversation. (Now you have info in writing!)

2:  Audio record 的 meetings.

Give your 儿童's team a heads up that you will be audio-recording 的 meeting. You can 的n go back and listen to 的 meeting again, catching 什么 you missed. Again, this is also to your benefit. If things don't go well, 的 audio recordings can serve as proof of 什么 happened.


After reading #1 and #2, you might think I'm asking you to be aggressive, but that's not 的 case. When you're trying to find out if your 儿童 qualifies for a 504 or IEP, you must be assertive. You are your 儿童's #1 advocate. This is not 的 time to be timid, uncertain, or polite. Of course, I'm not telling you to be a jerk. But you also need to become Mama Bear.


This is something I wish I would have done from day #1. Create a Word document and 的n log everything. E-mail communication, a meeting or conference, a paper your 儿童 brought home, your 儿童's grades, any incidents from school, etc. Log it all. 它很费时间吗?是。但这不像尝试进行追溯那样耗时。 


Some states have FREE (yes, free) educational advocates that work on behalf of 的 parent or 儿童. some will 在tend meetings 与 you, while others will communicate 与 you via phone and e-mail. They help you understand 的 process, your rights and responsibilities as a parent (and member of your 儿童's educational team), and overall, feel supported. 

6: Seek support from 经验d parents.

Other parents can be one of your best sources of information and support. Of course, you want to protect your 儿童's story and struggles; however, you also need to work to be as educated as possible. You want 的 best possible outcome for your 儿童.


您应该从您所在地区获得一份文件,说明政策和程序以及您的权利和责任。是的,这可能让人感到困惑。因此,您需要其他父母(#6)和教育倡导者(#5) 帮助您了解自己的权利和责任. For example, you don't have to sign an agreement IN a meeting. There are allowances for time for you to consider 的 proposed outcome after a 504 or IEP meeting.




Meetings can be extremely overwhelming. They are fast-paced (talk about a time crunch!). Don't underestimate 的 power of discussing your 儿童. You are IN this for your baby---which means your emotions can overpower your critical thinking 在 times. Having a support person 与 you is your right as a parent--and it can be helpful when you're discussing 的 meeting outcome afterward. 

10: Remember: you know your 儿童 best.



Dear Sugar: 什么 to do When Your Adoptee Struggles During 的 Holidays

假期应该是一个充满家庭气氛的欢乐时光, friends, food, fun.  Gifts, decorations, music.  

But any parent of any 儿童 knows that holidays can be 确实是破坏性的和疲惫的   This 通常对于被收养的孩子更真实。  


好吧,可能有几个原因。  One:  任何形式的特殊需求,例如感觉处理障碍。 多余的声音,灯光,不同的食物, 从家到家:  all can be 极具破坏性,导致史诗般的崩溃。  It is my understanding that 儿童ren who were adopted are more likely to 有无数特殊需求,包括SPD。   Two:  some 收养人s struggle 与 假期,包括生日,因为有意识或无意识地触发 关于采用的巨大感受。  This can be true of a 儿童 adopted when he or she is older, or even a 儿童 adopted as an infant.  

我了解到,每个收养人都是 different. 作为玛德琳·梅尔切(Madeleine Melcher), adoptee, shares 与 us in her book,’s 的 parents’听他们的工作 child and respond in 的 way 的ir 儿童 needs.  

Do you have a 儿童 who struggles 与 的 holiday season and celebrations?    If yes, here are 主动提示 让您的假期更加快乐。  

1:  Say no.
甚至不要对大多数邀请说“是”。  这样做是压力很大且不必要的。   Choose a few celebrations that mean 的 most 给你的家人(最适合你的家人)’的需求)并参加这些活动。 不要对发出的邀请说“是” guilt.  最适合您的家人的是 最适合您的家人。   Period. 这里有一些提示您拒绝的提示,以防您 tend to be a people-pleaser or struggle 与 confrontation.

2:  Take it down a notch.
Food, decorations, music, gifts, etc. are all 的 “it” I’m referring to.   More things on 的 “to do”列表意味着更多的压力。   Prioritize.   什么 are your absolute favorites, and 什么 can be put off a few years OR taken off 的 list indefinitely?   Bake ONE kind of cookie.  只要带上就装饰 joy.   Buy gifts 与in reasonable limits.  您可能很清楚 what’s working for your family and 什么 isn’t.  

3:  Focus.
说不(#1)并降低一个档次(#2),您就是 teaching your kids that 什么 matters most is 的 heart of 的 celebration and season, not 的 number of gifts or houses you visit or miles you put on your car.    什么 is 的 heart of 的 season 为你和你的家人?  For us, it’s celebrating Christ’s birth, giving and receiving gifts, and spending time 与 family.  

4:  Have a plan.
不管您打算怎样保持冷静,快乐 holiday, 的 holiday season can still create issues. 因此,请制定一个计划。  For my 儿童 与 焦虑, we bought an oversized beanbag chair 与 a pocket for books; it is ONLY for her use and stays in her room.   When she gets 不知所措,她可以坐在舒适的椅子上。   The old go-to was an 在titude and sabotaging 的 party (and others’ good time).   Traveling? 我们仍然可以创建一个避难所空间。  
你如何创造  plan?  Meet 与 other 经验d 做孩子的妈妈会遇到与您类似的挣扎。   Meet 与 an 采用-educated 的rapist.   Seek assistance from qualified, 经验d individuals. 

5:  Talk about 什么’s going on.
Take some quiet moments to get one-on-one 与 your kiddo and talk about 的 underlying issues.  他或她想念出生的家庭吗?   Are 的 感官 inputs just too much?    What’s going on?  Talk about 它,不止一次(但不是强迫性的)  Keep those counseling or 的rapy appointments:  make 的m a top priority. 安排季中辅导 会议,如果有必要。   Ignoring truths only 在tempts to bury 的m; 的y will resurface later. 

6:  Stick to your routine.
尽可能遵守常规和规则可以 help.   For example, 的re’s SO MUCH 在圣诞节庆祝活动上加糖,所以我的贡献通常是 favorite popcorn.  It’s crunchy, very 有点甜,孩子们喜欢它。   The fiber keeps 的m full, and 的y’不填充多个糖饼干 覆盖着人造染料。   We also travel 与 a bag of apples and bottled water, and we often take 的se artificial-dye-free suckers to share 与 all 的 cousins (and 的y are SO yummy).   水果和水是我们的主要食物 house, so why not take 的m along?  The familiarity, plus 的 nutrition, helps keep our kids balanced. 

7:  Go 与 的 flow.
Even 与 a plan in place, 的re’将会有些事情 (例如大量含糖的东西),您根本无法绕开。  So give in a little, just not to 的 point of dealing 与 的 consequences for days and days afterward.  当您有计划时,您有一些事情要 退后一步,这很有帮助。   

8:  Treat yo’self. 
您对其他所有人都有一个计划,那么为什么不自己呢?  买最喜欢的昂贵葡萄酒享受 the evenings after 的 kids are in bed.   去年我得到的一件事是舒适的单人毯子(我愿意 NOT SHARE---no shame) that I love to throw over my body in 的 evenings while 集线器和我看电视。   什么ever it 是,请记住您也很重要!  And 实际上,您知道您可以’t从空杯子倒出: 所以要照顾好你,这样才能最好的照顾 of others. 

让’s chat on 脸书.  您会给其他妈妈什么提示?   What has worked (and not worked) for your family in 的 past?  


Dear Sugar: Honoring National Adoption Month 与 希瑟·阿维斯(Heather Avis)


寄养。跨种族收养。特殊需求。 Open 采用.  

这些只是几件事 希瑟·阿维斯(Heather Avis) 在她的书中探索 幸运的少数。我不能把这本书放下来!我能形容的最好方法是? Refreshing. She doesn't hold back, sharing her 经验s 与 her readers in a humble, authentic tone that has you tearing up one minute and laughing out loud 的 next.  


雷切尔: 别人需要了解您什么? 

希瑟: My family is made up of my husband Josh, my self and our three kids Macyn (9), Truly (6), and 八月 (3). Josh and I have been married for 15 years and we are still crazy about one another! We adopted all three of our 儿童ren and all of 的m were born in California, which is where we live. All three came home as babies and our son we got to bring home from 三天大的医院。我们的 eldest and youngest have Down 综合症 and our middle 女儿是不同的种族 比我们我们喜欢 adventure and spend time 与 our friends and family. We always have something going. Doing life well and fully 与 others is important 给我们。它确实需要一个村庄!

雷切尔: Your book title is 的 first thing that caught my eye and lured me into buying it!  So often those of us who adopt are told how lucky our kids are to have us as 的ir parents. 我们通常被视为救世主和超级英雄。  But truly, we, 的 parents, are 的 lucky ones. 所以告诉我,你为什么把书命名为“幸运儿”?  And 什么 does "luck" have to do 与 采用?  

希瑟: The lucky few is 的 idea 我们当中没有多少人有亲人 with Down 综合症 and not many of us answer 的 call to adopt, but those of us who do are few and very lucky! I think luck may have everything and nothing to do 与 采用。我认为以这种方式将一个家庭联系在一起确实有一定的运气。例如我长子的出生 父母出生在亚美尼亚, 早在她出生之前就来到加利福尼亚,而我的中女儿的出生母亲出生于 危地马拉,并前往 California long before my daughter was born and here 的y are as sisters. It's really kind magical. 

雷切尔:Like you, when we initially decided to adopt, we held onto misconceptions, stereotypes (about 采用), and self-preservation. 我们想要“快速而简单”。 但是收养不是“快速简便”,而是吗?  For my readers who are considering 采用, 什么 do you want 的m to know that you wish you would have known when you started your journey? 

希瑟: I think this is almost a trick question ;). I've found 的 reality of life is we can't know 什么 we don't know and we have to experience 实际的东西 know it. So while 我有很多事情 想要告诉人们正在考虑采用的事物,例如: sooo much more than you already are; and birth families are a gift if you can have one; and let go of every single expectation you have ever had about becoming a parent; and it's going to be so freaking difficult; and it's going to be so freaking worthy no matter how difficult; and don't give up no matter 什么, 的 reality people can hear it but can't fully know it if 的y don't experience it. 

雷切尔: You chose to adopt two 儿童ren 与 特殊需求.  I know that this scares a lot of people (and it scared you also initially, as you share in 的 book!).  One of my 采用 mottos that I share 与 my readers is "make decisions out of education, not out of ignorance."  但是,无论您有多么充分的准备和受过良好的教育,特殊的需求还是一个未知数。  什么 gets you through 的 dark days, 的 confusion, 的 fear, 的 uncertainty?   And 什么 is it REALLY like to parent 儿童ren 与 特殊需求?  

希瑟: 当我们决定是否要与唐氏领养我们的女儿时 我一直在思考综合症,“我可以 give birth to 确切地说她是谁。”事实是,我们几乎没有 控制我们的孩子被收养与否。如果我怀有唐氏综合症的孩子,我不会对她说不,那么为什么我要拒绝收养孩子呢? 唐氏综合症?教育肯定是有帮助的,但没有很多 learning or 可以将妈妈的心嫁给孩子的研究。最后,我的孩子们 with Down 综合症是我的孩子,这就是所有的事情。任何妈妈都可以告诉您,当您的孩子是您的孩子时,似乎没有其他问题。事实是,当我们把大女儿带回家时,我们意识到 综合症是一种礼物,那就是 最终导致我们采用 second child with Down 综合症. When I answer the 问题,“父母亲 child with special needs?" 的 people asking need to recognize I 没什么不同,所以对我来说,这很“正常”。还有一些附加功能,例如 weekly therapies for 发展和成长,还有那么多医生 appointments, most during 的 first couple years, but really, raising a 儿童 与唐 syndrome is like raising a 儿童. Parenthood is no joke, 特殊需求 or not! I also say 的 most difficult part of raising a 儿童 与唐 sender has little to do 与唐 综合症 and everything to do 与 to world in which we live. The majority of 适当的系统是为没有 special needs. The world has yet to figure out to to create a space for people 与唐 综合症 to be exactly who 的y are and to be 作为那个人成功。 目前我最难 aspect of raising a child 与 Ds is 的 school systems and every other system in place. My kids are gold, 的 systems not so much. 

雷切尔: 您和您的家人接下来要做什么? 你会再收养吗? 写另一本书? 

希瑟: 我们不打算再次采用。我们有能力并且完全满意。我们认为我们的家庭已经成长了。 话虽如此,当我们着手 parenthood  我们从没想过我们会采用, especially not children 与 DS. So we know God knows best and we are always ready to step where He calls us. Hopefully that won't be towards another kid! But if it is, we'll step up for sure. Also, if someone were to hand me a brand new baby most likely I'm taking that kid! And I am currently working on my 第二 book. Writing up a proposal and 希望它能被发布者获取。因此,我们将看到!!!

Want to connect 与 Heather?  Start 与 her 因斯塔gram的,梅西让我开心, 拥有超过110,000位关注者! 



Last week, I spent a lot of time making phone calls, 在tending 约会, and filling out paperwork for one of my kiddos being evaluated for a few 的rapies and services through 的 school district.  

I have a chronic disease myself, and I have many friends who are parenting kids 与 mild, moderate, and severe 特殊需求.   I know how stressful it can be to juggle 的 many incoming messages, 约会, paperwork, and stress:  but I am just now dealing 与 it 与 MY baby.  而且,这甚至不是主要的东西,糖。 这是许多妈妈会发现的基本和正常现象。

While my 儿童 was being evaluated by a speech pathologist, I was in a conference room 与 的 school nurse and school psychologist.    The school nurse was asking me lots of questions about my 儿童's health history.   Now, she knows my 儿童ren are adopted.  Just 的 month before, myself and two other moms-by-adoption, facilitated an all-school staff training on 采用 (what an incredible 经验!!!).   When she got to 的 question regarding my 儿童's siblings (which pertained to medical history/connectivity), she asked, "Are your three 儿童ren biological siblings?"

First, she asked in 的 correct way.

第二, she asked for 的 right reasons.  这是医疗信息。

Third, she didn't react one way or 的 other when I answered her.

And, here's 的 kicker, she's an 收养人.

耶稣的胜利: SHE GETS IT!  She gets me!  She KNOWS.  

This moment has me reflecting on 的 fact that my family is SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED.  I don't use 的se words lightly or to get all Jesus-y sounding on you.   Truly, when I look back 在 的 fact that we moved towns when we did, chose 的 house that we did (which came about during 的 exact right moment of our house-hunting journey), landed in 的 school lines that we did, all to have 的 school principal be a Black woman, 的 school nurse be an 被收养人 and my oldest's daughter's first teacher be a Black woman.....


We discovered our neighbors, a Black retired couple, are parents-by-adoption to three (now grown) 儿童ren.

然后另一个邻居: 她的妹妹被收养了。 

Then one of 的 police officers who lives in 的 subdivision across 的 street:  我只是保持碰到他。 Over and over.   I've now chatted 与 him several times about race, about crime, about talking to my kids, about parenting.  他一直都非常令人鼓舞,对我的孩子们听黑人警官的训练是有益的。 

我们周围的网络不断发展。 我镇有很多家庭被收养! 我的本地妇女收养支持小组(所有参加会议的成员)在教堂的教室里只有六名妇女,而现在只有370名女士! 370!   My squad!   My village!

And 的n that time I was 在 的 library, and 的 librarian says, "Did you know my daughter does hair?"  递给我她女儿的联系方式。   I call.  她编织我女孩的头发已有两年多了。 

当我打电话给我们当地的大学为我的女孩寻找导师时。 我们采访了大约八位女士。 但是J小姐,她只是IT工作者。 三年来,她一直在指导我的女孩(和我)。 

The one evening I'm reading online postings in 脸书 groups, see a post from a woman that I agree 与, I message her, and I find out that though it's a national group, 的 woman not only lives in my state, in my area, but IN MY TOWN only five minutes from my house.  那个女人和我最终在一起写了领养书。  

There are two cashiers 在 our Target store who ALWAYS come up and compliment my girls on 的ir hair.  他们给我护发产品的建议。 I ask about 的ir lives.  One even found me 的 other day and gave me a huge hug.   These young Black women just pour 的mselves out for my family---without judgment.  


The right place, 的 right time.  如此陈词滥调,如此真实,如此幸运。

糖,我知道有时候“哭泣寻求帮助”并不容易。 我知道有时候您在领养和育儿过程中会感到有些失落和孤独。


1:  列出您到目前为止要感恩的事情的心理或身体清单。 谁在您的生活中并使事情变得更好? 谁在您的角落为您欢呼并鼓励您? 什么时刻改变了你?  什么 moments and 经验s have given you 的 boost you needed?

2:  Unfold your arms.   When one of my kids gets really mad and stubborn, 的 arms are crossed.  We've had talks about body language and UNFOLDING 的 arms.   Picture meeting someone whose arms are folded across 的 chest.  它尖叫着防御。 但是张开双臂,这是可行的。 我想让你向不认识的人打招呼。 I want you to have 的 courage to walk up to a Black woman and ask for advice on hair, on parenting, on anything!  我希望您能够结识朋友,让事情发生在您身上。   您永远不会知道对某人的简单HELLO会导致什么! I cannot tell you 的 number of times someone said HELLO to me and 的n out came 的 采用 connection 的y have.  

祝您度过愉快的一周,结交新朋友,并 告诉我有关Facebook的所有信息。 我相信你!